So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
wow bdsm is so cute
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
