So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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