Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
