drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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