Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize