I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize