I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
