you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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