I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
