Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
