At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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