@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I haven't been this sober since birth.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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