After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
