just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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