Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
