the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
