I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
