you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize