I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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