Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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