Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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