too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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