He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
