I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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