Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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