it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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