Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
