your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
