I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
