Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
