and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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