you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California