why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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