so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
did i just pee glitter
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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