break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
