If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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