Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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