So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
