Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
