I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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