addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
even my farts smell like vagina
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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