all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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