what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
