the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
