It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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