She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
