Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
