Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We are all done wearing pants today
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
