Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
