Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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