Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
