Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
