I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
