Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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