Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
