I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
