There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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