True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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