Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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