I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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