i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
