i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
