why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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