Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize